Patience: Your Hidden Superpower
Tips and tools to build your patience muscle
A test of patience
A few weeks ago, I had to call a state agency to ask them a question.
I kinda knew the answer already, but I wanted to verify. Y’know, just to be safe and all that.
That’s kinda my thing.
After navigating the menu of “Press 1” and “Press 3” ad infinitum, I was placed in a queue.
The friendly computer voice announced, “We value your call. You are currently 45th in line.”
Yes, 45th.
I immediately hung up and took my chances with internet research and a series of hunches from law school 25 years ago (I don’t recommend that for everyone, by the way).
Maybe not my finest hour
Okay, so I probably failed that life test of patience, right? The universe was giving me an opportunity to prove my mettle, and it didn’t go so well.
In fact, I couldn’t hang up fast enough!
But even though I flamed out on that phone call, it got me thinking about a question a coaching client once asked me: “If you had to pick one thing to work on for the rest of your life, what would it be?”
My answer?
Patience.
When they asked why, I told them it’s because, in my opinion, patience is the gateway to all other good things…and, it’s something I’ve struggled with my whole life.
Patience is a superpower
The Cambridge Dictionary has a fantastic definition of “patience”: “The ability to wait, or to continue doing something despite difficulties, or to suffer without complaining or becoming annoyed.”
Boom!
Read that 16 times and imagine what your life would look like if you could master it.
I know for me, my life would look less like a stressball and more like one of those soap commercials from the 90s where the person takes a sniff of some green bar on a bench in Ireland – not a care in the world. Just the fresh scent of…soap.
Imagine waiting without annoyance. Forging ahead with optimism in the face of obstacles. Taking on the challenges of life without complaint!
Yeah…I struggle with it, too.
But we can work on patience as we go through our day.
Working on patience
I know we’re all in a rush to get stuff done. I know we all want the Wi-Fi to work faster. I know annoyance is common for all of us as we navigate the day.
But the more we get caught up in impatience, the higher our stress levels and blood pressure, and the lower our mood.
So, what can we do? We can build our patience muscle. Here are some things to try:
1. Build muscle with repetition. Just like at the gym, the more you face resistance, the stronger you get. If a co-worker is getting on your nerves, test yourself in the next conversation and see if you can send them good vibes. If a text pops up on your phone, set a timer and wait 10 minutes to respond. Watch some episodes of your favorite TV show, but leave the finale for the next day.
2. Let it go. You can control how you drive, but not the other driver. If someone cuts you off in rush hour, try to drop the anger and the urge to “get ahead.” If you’re stuck on hold, put the speaker phone on and work or watch funny videos while you wait – and let the frustration drop.
3. Be mindful. If you’re in the here and now, and accepting what is, you can more easily monitor your thoughts and feelings and control them with your breath or mind. Don’t think about where you need to get to. Instead, focus on where you are.
4. See through the eyes of another. If the barista is taking forever, understand it may have been a long day for them. If your child is moseying instead of hurrying, remember how you were at their age.
Understanding breeds patience, and vice versa.
Patience is the glue that helps us hold it together
Here’s the MtE tip: Practice patience.
So many good things come from patience. So much good can happen when we let go of what we can’t control and allow things to unfold as they should or come to us when they want.
If there’s something (or someone) in your life that pushes your impatience button, then that person is your teacher. Learn from them and become more tolerant of the flow of life – no matter how fast or slow it goes.
How do you handle impatience and practice patience? Let us know!
To dive deeper into strategies for managing stress and anxiety (including mindfulness and meditation), check out my book, An Audible Silence; or schedule a free 15-minute call to see if coaching might be right for you. For even more, follow me on Instagram or TikTok.
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(NOTE: Mastering the Everyday is not medical or mental health advice or diagnosis, and is solely for informational/entertainment purposes. If you need physical or psychiatric care, please reach out to a trained and licensed medical professional.)
I work on this daily.
I used to pray for patience and then it occurred to me that I was getting lots of opportunities to practice - it's in the practicing of patience we become patient.