Mindfulness: "The Best Part of My Week"

Forty clients, one mindful moment

“The best part of my week!”

I was social work counselor sitting in my office at a treatment center, and two (of the 40) clients on campus arrived at my door. They were there with a message.

“We want more relaxation and mindfulness stuff.”

They liked the groups where I talked about that and wanted to know more. They let me know, in no uncertain terms, that they “spoke for all of us.”

All 40 people.

So, I went to my supervisor and asked for that time on their behalf. And I got it.

The result was a meditation and mindfulness group I created.

I wrote my own guided meditations and shared them in a room where every…single…client showed up, even though the group was not mandatory.

Some clients even tried to schedule medical appointments and court dates around this group to ensure they wouldn’t miss it.

Each week, a group of folks who were normally quite lively (including me!), found 45 minutes of total quiet - a quiet so profound, the techs would peek in the room just to check if we were still there.

And when a client came to my office for a one-on-one session and said, “That group is the best part of my week,” I realized that space of mindful relaxation wasn’t just a gathering, but an opportunity.

And I knew I had to make that 45-minute feeling something my clients could access at almost any time.

Even when I wasn’t there. Even after they graduated the program.

What is mindfulness?

You’ve probably heard about mindfulness. You may even have a practice around it.

The folks at Greater Good have a nice definition of it: “Mindfulness means maintaining a moment-by-moment awareness of our thoughts, feelings, bodily sensations, and surrounding environment, through a gentle, nurturing lens.” It’s about accepting the moment as it is, without judging it as right or wrong.

In other words, we’re aware and accepting of what’s going on right now – not in some future time, or in some past state. Now.

When we bring our awareness to the present moment, we may become more responsive to life, and less reactive. We may act less out of emotions such as rage or anger, and get in touch with the calmer side of who we are.

When we’re grounded in the moment…centered…and we practice arriving in this state of being, we can better assess situations for what they really are, and accept ourselves for who we really are.

And that can have huge benefits for our physical and emotional wellbeing. It may even change our brains and lead to increased happiness.

When is a good time for mindfulness practice?

Clients would often ask, “When should I do this?”

I would remind them that there are no hard and fast rules. There is no set mindfulness manual filled with guidelines for tools and times.

The best time to practice mindfulness is whenever you become aware of the need for practice. Any ordinary moment is a good time!

Maybe it’s doing a breathing technique (such as 4-7-8 breathing) during rush-hour traffic or when work emails are starting to overwhelm you.

Maybe you’re taking an evening stroll, and you become more aware of your steps on the pavement.

Perhaps it’s eating a snack with total focus on smell, taste, and texture.

For my clients, I would suggest little exercises they could do before standing before a judge or waiting for a medical appointment.

“It’s not a cure-all for anxiety, stress, and nerves,” I would say. “It’s a tool. Something to use to help you be a little more present instead of darting here and there in your thoughts.”

Most of us do nervous, tense, and stressed in life right from the start. No one needs to show us how.

Becoming aware of these things and working to find a state of being with them is what takes practice.

Most of us never master it. But the journey can certainly dial it all down.

The key is to bring your awareness to the moment, sitting with the urge to judge it or run from it.

If you are washing dishes with total focus, and you find your mind wandering, gently bring your awareness back to the sink.

It can be that easy to find a way in.

One…small…way…in.

Any moment can be a mindful moment

Here’s the MtE tip: Find a tiny, ordinary moment to practice being here…

Can you take a habit or daily occurrence and make it something more? Any moment is a chance to practice, so make mindfulness a constant through the day.

Here are some ideas:

• Savor a sandwich on a lunch break, paying attention to the food’s texture. Crunchy? Sweet? Salty? How does it feel to chew and swallow? Stay with it. Stay focused. Bite…chew…swallow. Repeat.

• Watch the birds from a bench in the park. Just watch. Is there a method to their flitting and fluttering? What songs do they sing? What do they really sound like? Stay with them. They arrive, they flit, they move on. Next.

• Sit in a chair in your house and notice your breath. Just notice. Don’t change the pattern or judge the ins and outs. Just…be…with your breath. If your attention strays from breath, gently return your attention to breath. In…out…in…out…[reset]…in…out…

• Commit to noticing anxiety or nerves in your day. When you feel that tug, name it. Anxiety. If you can, watch it. Sit with it. Try not to judge. This one is difficult (a lifelong challenge for me), so don’t be too hard on yourself. As a teacher of mine used to say: “Try.” Just try. I’ve spent decades in “try,” and I’m still here in part, I’m sure, because of it.

Focus on how the moments of life make you feel and think. Get to know what’s going on with you. Check in with yourself.

Move through your day prepared to notice the day - and your place in it. As I used to tell my clients: mindfulness isn’t magic. It’s a practice of focus. A state of being. A gentle, non-judgmental attention.

And any time in any day is ripe for it.

Give yourself over to the ordinary moments of life, and see if they don’t just turn into extraordinary moments that can change your life.

Do you have a mindfulness practice that helps you? Share so we can all learn!

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To dive deeper into strategies for mindfulness and meditation, check out my book, An Audible Silence. For even more, follow me on Instagram or TikTok.

(NOTE: Mastering the Everyday is not medical or mental health advice or diagnosis, and is solely for informational/entertainment purposes. If you need physical or psychiatric care, please reach out to a trained and licensed medical professional.)